Goodbye
by Eltron
Summary: After a life of pain, he just wants out. And after his birthday is forgotten, he decides to make it happen.
1. Chapter 1

The green Titan stared at the ocean below him, the waves lapped up against the rocks that sat at the edge of the Titans Tower. Tears ran down his face as he looked at the cold dark water, water that he wished to let envelop him and take it all away, all the pain, all the sorrow. This was not a new feeling for the green prankster; he had felt this way for the past two days, ever since every other member on the team had forgotten his birthday. The only things that had been said to him on that day were biting comments from Robin on his lack of, well everything; speed, agility, strength, endurance, battle skills. Basically everything the Robin had that he didn't. And Robin hadn't been alone in the torment either; Starfire and Raven had joined in. Neither of them added anything to the bashing, but at one point when Raven made the comment that the only thing weaker then Beast Boy was him when he was in his bug form, he almost walked away in tears. The tears did flow when Starfire added a memorable comment.

"Indeed, even the freak of the controls is stronger." The laughter that came at that one made him leave the room, tears running down his face and the laughter of his teammates ringing in his ears. He hadn't spoken to any of them since that day, and none of them made any comment to come and reconcile their depressed teammate.

With a sigh he turned himself into a crow and made his down the tower to his window. He didn't feel like walking down to his room, there was too much chance that he might bump into somebody, and he didn't feel like getting made fun of again. Plus there was the fact that he just knew the fact that since he had been hiding in his room, they would have plenty more ammo to use on him if he chanced to run into one of them. Especially Raven. She was the one who meant the most to him, the beautiful girl with the tragic past. He did everything he could to cheer her up, to no avail. The best reaction he could hope for was to be thrown across the room, or to get a glare the said in a way words couldn't, I hate everything about you.

He had loved Raven for a long time, and would do anything he could to protect her, when he became the Beast, he did it for her. He would die for her, and she would never know it. He tried everyday to make her smile, to see her lips form that beautiful grin that he had seen only a few times. Few enough to count on one hand, or one claw as it were. More than any of the others he cared for her, and yet he knew he had as much chance of getting with her as he did of getting with Cyborg. She was everything he was not; she was more attractive, cooler, smarter. And people like that did not take people like him.

By an off chance he was caught by one of the buffeting winds that came with living on an island right next to a windy and stormy area. The gust knocked him down a few dozen feet below his room and as luck would have it, right in front of the window that showed into the living room. As he looked in he saw the entire team and could tell see that they were having a great time, further reinforcing upon him the knowledge that they didn't need or want him around.

Upon a closer look he saw that the team was… they were singing. Not just singing, they were singing karaoke. Beast Boy _loved_ karaoke, a fact well known around the Tower, and he wondered why they were all singing without him. And it hit him like a ton of bricks, they were singing now because he wasn't around to mess it up. To mess it up with his bad voice and music that no one else liked. Not knowing it was possible, he sank even lower into his depression and melancholy.

He winged his way back up and made it through his window into his room feeling so bad that he decided he would just go to sleep. Sleep was the only thing that he could think of right now, sleep that would envelop him and take him away from the harsh world that seemed to be out only to hurt him. But again, luck would not let the poor boy be, it had more in store for him on this night.  
As he climbed up on his bed, not even bothering to remove his clothes, he brushed his dresser. Now despite popular opinion around the Tower, his room was not the pigpen everyone made it out to be. In fact it was rather clean, the only mess being the fact that he didn't always toss his clothes into the hamper when he removed them. And so when the leather-bound book without a name on the cover fell off and landed noiselessly on the thickly carpeted floor, he noticed and moved to pick it back up.

The book was a rather special one to Garfield Logan, it was a photo album. On most of the pages in the album were pictures of the Titans, mostly ones of the others, grinning or making funny faces at the camera. He even had one of Raven gracing him with a very slight smile. But there was also in the book a page dedicated solely to those that he had loved and lost. It contained the only picture he still had of his parents, one in which the three of them were staring at the camera and grinning for all they were worth. It had been the happiest day of Garfield's life when they had taken that picture, it was the day he has turned seven. Little did he know it would only be three days later his parents would be taken from him.

Of the other two pictures on the page the larger belonged to two people smiling serenely at the camera. They were his foster parents, the only two people who would take in a green eight year old boy. He had lived with them for two years, and right when he had started to feel happy again, they too were taken from him most cruelly.

The final picture on the page was of the only girl who had ever felt anything related to romantic feelings for him. But even then she had turned on them, the only girl whom he had ever kissed. She had turned on the Titans, but more importantly she had turned on him. And he knew in his heart it was because he wasn't good enough. It he had been cuter, or funnier, or smarter she would still be with them; but no, she was instead a statue. When she had terraformed herself permanently he had felt like this, but nowhere near this bad. That time had been nothing compared to how low and depressed he felt now.

And seeing all of those pictures made him feel even worse, the memories that were dredged up from the base of his mind made the tears that had stopped just a few minutes earlier renew themselves with a force. It seemed to the poor boy that everyone he got too close to died. Just that thought made him think of his teammates; was he close to them?

A few days ago he would have said yes, but now, now he wasn't so sure. Would people who cared about him make fun of him, ridicule him for his choice to not eat meat? Would people who cared about him yell at him for not being good enough? Wouldn't people who loved him at least make an effort to laugh at his jokes, even if just to make him feel better? Wouldn't people who loved him remember his birthday?

He thought about it for a moment, did the Titans even care about him? They were always telling him how inadequate he was. He was too weak, he couldn't lead the team, he couldn't fight hand to hand. All he could do was turn himself into different animals, some power. Cyborg was a master at all things technical, Starfire had super-strength and her green fire bolts and eye beams. Robin was a natural born leader, and Raven could heal them and was smart and amazing and… better at everything than he was, they all were.

He was a detriment to the team. He was dead weight, someone holding the others back. When they were fighting the various villains of the city he was always in the way. He couldn't hold his own in a fight, and invariably he always needing saving.

He was suddenly very tired, but not from exertions of the day, but from life. He was tired of his life. A decision made its way into his mind, and the longer he thought about it the better the idea seemed. If he was so tired of life, why not just end it? And why not, he wasn't needed, or even wanted around here; he was a useless member on one of the greatest superhero teams to assemble.

Looking around the room he spotted two things he would need, a pen and paper. He figured that no one would care, but for some reason it seemed to him that a note would be needed. Even if they would just laugh at it, he figured that they may wonder a little as to why he did it.

_Dear Titans,_

_I have come to realize something over the past few days; I am not need or wanted on the team. Everyone else has something that they give to the team, and I do not. And so I have made the decision to leave it, all of it, the team, and the world. I know that you won't really care, but some part of me hopes you will, and so I have decided to leave this letter._

_First of all, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all of the corny jokes, I'm sorry that I bugged you all and that I would never shut up. I'm sorry that I was useless in battle and that I could never seem to keep up with you guys. I'm sorry that I was always holding you guys back from becoming the amazing team that you could have become. And I hope that the person you choose to replace me will gel with the team better._

_I'm just so tired of feeling bad, because everyone I've ever been close to has died. My parents, the Doom Squad, Terra. They're all gone, and I know that it is my fault. I'm bad luck, and if I hadn't been around they would all be alive today._

_But I'm also tired of being hurt by you. I'm tired of being told I'm not good enough. I'm tired of never having my jokes laughed at, of always being the weak link on the team. I wish I could be better and stronger and faster and funnier, but I'm not, and I'm just over being so weak and pointless._

_And so I've made my choice, when you read this I will be dead. I have no doubts that you guys will be better off without me but still, I do have some things to say, things that need to be said to each of you._

_Robin, stop obsessing. Do you remember when you told me that your biggest fear was to turn into Batman, well you're becoming him. Slade is gone and you need to let it go, let all of the shit go. Oh, and for the love of god will you get your stuff together and tell Starfire how much you love her._

_Starfire, grow up. I know this is new world for you but you need to grow up, because there are people out there that will use your innocence and naivety against you. They will hurt you with it. You are too nice and too beautiful to act as young as you do. Also, if Robin doesn't ask you out, hit him for me._

_Cyborg, get over your car and go out and meet a girl. Talk to Bumblebee, do something. The world is out there, and as fun as your car is, if you don't experience it then what's the point of living it._

_Raven, I never told you this but since I'm gone I might as well. I love you, well loved you as I'll be gone when you read this. You are the most amazing person I have ever met. Please, open up a little, enjoy life, and find someone to be with. I once dreamed that person would be me, but I always knew it wouldn't. Make someone happy._

_Well this is it. I'm sorry that I took up so much of your time with this letter and with my life. Maybe I'll be a better person on the other side._

Tears dotted the letter that he had just finished writing. Placing it on the dresser he reached for the only other thing on it, a ceremonial knife. It had been a gift to him from his father; the knife had been used but the Mali tribe when they had been in power some 3,000 years ago. It was one of the few things he still had that his father had given him, and to him it seemed fitting that it should be the one to end his life.

He pulled the blade out of its sheath, and noted the sharp ring that came from the iron. He had always kept it sharp, as the spirits that resided within the knife wished for it to be that way, or at least that's what his father had taught him. The knife sat in his hands for a few moments while he noted the finality of it. But as long as he spent looking at it, he spent no time in the actual effort.

A deep cut went across one wrist, the knife switched hands on an identical cut appeared on the other. There, it was done. No turning back now. There was pain, but it was muted compared to the pain inside. The moments dragged by and he noted that time seemed to grow slower; he could count the minutes between his heart beats it seemed, until he couldn't. His heart stopped, and with it, so did the pain.

(A/N) To anyone reading this story, the original idea came from the incredibly talented author BlackNapalm. People should read his/her stuff as he/she has amazing writing skills. PEace.


	2. Epilouge

It was only two hours before he was discovered by his fellow Titans. They decided that the karaoke machine was no fun without him, and they had let him mope around enough. They didn't know the pain he had been in, or they would have cared. Alas for missed chances.

They approached his door as a team, and after banging on for a few moments they burst in, and screamed at the sight they beheld. His green body, now a sickly shade from loss of blood, lying amidst his life flow. On his face was a serene expression, his arms were out to his sides, and he looked relaxed, almost as if he were taking a late afternoon nap.

Cyborg was the first to his body, shaking him and putting his fingers down to his neck to check for a pulse. Tears ran down his face when he realized the truth. The others also tried shaking him, slapping him, anything to wake him. After a few moments they were all in tears, all wondering why? Why would he do such a thing?

Robin was the first to spy the note, he pulled it down from the dresser and read it, his jaw dropping in disbelief as he read his former teammates words. He had never known, never imagined that the little green boy had felt the way he did. Looking at the others he silently passed around the note. Everyone else had the same look of disbelief on their faces that he did. None of them had any clue what had been going on is his head.

They sat there for nearly an hour in silence, just staring at his body, each blaming themselves for what had happened, none of them knowing what to do, how to act in a time like this. It was Robin, naturally, who broke the silence and led the others out of the room. None of them said anything as they shuffled out and moved into the living room.

When they got into the room it was Raven who first spoke.

"Did any of you ever suspect?"

"Of course not Rae, none of us did any more than you did?" Cyborg's reply was choked with tears; he had had no idea that his best friend felt this way.

"I-I shall miss him forever and ever." Starfire burst into tears again; her comment reflected what every Titan was feeling at that point, despair, sadness, and a desire to wake up from this dream. There would be no waking up however, and they all knew this sad, sad fact. He was gone, and he would never return to them.


End file.
